Category Archives: Food

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Chipotle Deviled Eggs: The Thinking Man’s Appetizer

Who doesn’t love deviled eggs? Serial puppy killers? Nope. Even serial puppy killers love deviled eggs. I make them for all sorts of occasions: dinner parties, company potlucks, casual drinks at a bar for friends’ birthdays. How do I keep the same dish from getting stale? Aside from copious amounts of tin foil? FLAVOR CRYSTALS.

Or as you might know it, flavored Tabasco.

STEP ONE: BOIL THEM EGGS

Googling “How to Hard Boil Eggs” will give you thousands of recipes to choose from, but few actually customize based on type of stove (gas or electric) or altitude or whatever. I’ve had luck with this method because you can throw the eggs back in if they’re not quite done:

1. Put eggs in a pot that fits them snuggly side by side and fill with tap water until about half inch above the surface of the eggs
2. Bring to a boil
3. Remove from heat and cover
4. After 12 minutes off the heat, peel and cut one egg down the center to see if the yolk is done. The center should be completely cooked, with no gray around the edges. If the yolk looks undercooked, check another egg in two minutes, and so on until you reach the desired level of done-ness
5. Place the cooked eggs into a ice water bath to arrest further cooking

STEP TWO: PEEL THEM EGGS

STEP THREE: MAKE DAT FILLING
You can keep the whole hard boiled eggs refrigerated for up to 48 hours, but fair warning: your fridge will stink. Here’s a pro-tip: Re-use the carton the eggs came in for easy storage. The filling won’t keep as well since it’s all mayonnaise-y, so I recommend waiting until the last moment to make it.

The filling is really all about taste, but the basic ingredients are mayo, mustard, salt and pepper. Here’s how I roll for a dozen eggs:

1/3 c. REAL mayonnaise. Don’t cheap out on me.
3 T. yellow mustard
2 T. spicy mustard
¼ t. table salt
¼ t. fine-grind white pepper

Smashy Smashy: use a whisk to work the yolk into tiny bits before adding any liquid ingredients. This’ll help avoid blockage when you’re piping the filling into the whites.

STEP FOUR: FLAVOR COUNTRY

For Chipotle Deviled Eggs, bust out that Smoked Tabasco and add a few dashes, about 1 tablespoon for optimal chipotlosity. For an added kick, bench the paprika in favor of some cayenne pepper.

MORE PRO-TIPS
- For easier peeling, use old eggs and these tips
- Alton Brown sez: before boiling, rubber-band the egg carton and leave it on its side overnight for beautiful, centered yolks
- Don’t spend money on a piping bag. Grab a Ziploc and cut the corner off.

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The Secret to Peeling Boiled Eggs

Rejected post title: Frailty, thy name is eggshell.

The secret to peeling boiled eggs is practice.

pause for laughter

HAHAHA. Get it? No. Well. Practice is the secret to everything, but here are a few tricks that’ll pipewarp you most of the way there.

1. Age Before Beauty
2. Smashy Smashy
3. All Thumbs

1. Age Before Beauty: Use Old Eggs

Older eggs are easier to peel because the membrane detaches from the shell with age. How old? Obviously, not rotten eggs, but eggs that are at least four days old will make for easier peeling. If you’re one of those folks who keeps chickens, stick it in the fridge for at least at week to compensate for the farm-to-grocery-store delay the rest of us have to deal with. If you think your eggs are bordering on stinkbomb-level, dunk it in some water for a few minutes. If it floats, throw it out.

2. Smashy Smashy: Crack the Bejeezus Out of the Shell

Use the flat of a butter knife or back of a soup spoon to smash the crap out of the shell once the egg has been boiled. The cracks will provide more points for the shell to break away from the egg as well as provide more flexibility for your thumbs to slide around.

3. All Thumbs: Don’t Pick, Slide

The best tool you own for peeling boiled eggs is your thumbs. Thumbs alone, too: there’s no need to pick at bitty pieces of shell with your thumb and forefinger with this technique. Always start over a sink, both for easy clean up and easy access to water. Keep your hands (and the eggs) moist to ensure a nice slidey motion. Here are the basics:

  • Use the pad of your thumb
  • Long fingernails are not your friend.
  • If you get stuck, use a quick squirt of water to make it all slippery.

    Find the hollow spot on the egg where the air bubble used to be. Put your thumb right in there and make a hole. Lift the shell up until you can comfortably slip your thumb against the egg white. In a counter-clockwise motion, slide your thumb around the egg while always trying to stay underneath the membrane. This is the MOST important: getting under that membrane is the key to a smooth peel. When you can take the entire shell off in one piece, it’s your turn to smugly tell people how to do it.

    So there you have it. Above all else, I recommend patience. You’re almost guaranteed to fuck up at least one egg per batch, but even if the white comes out looking like Edward James Olmos’ face, save the yolk for the filling. Speaking of which, check out Pap Culture’s first recipe attempt: Chipotle Deviled Eggs: The Thinking Man’s Appetizer